Botswana gold medalist wears 40% of nations GPD around neck

BOTSWANA’S Olympic 800 metre champion Glode Duby is responsible for the single biggest injection into his nation’s economy for over 15 years after winning gold this week. The medal, valued at $412.87 on the stock market, is to be immediately melted down and sold in order to help pay off Botswana’s foreign debt.

“It is an honour to be running for my country” Duby announced. “Now if I can only win Olympic Gold every day from now on my beloved homeland shall be completely debt free by 23145”.

Olympic medal winning has become the largest industry in Botswana, recently overtaking traditional moneyspinners poaching and government corruption. “Running’s very profitable,” explained Duby. “Four hours training a day for six years to win hold works out about 5 cents an hour. That’s twice the national average wage”. “Not to mention the lucrative sponsorships Olympic success attracts. Winning a glamour race like the 800m could mean as much as three goats a year for me”.

 Nevertheless, Duby has taken the victory in his stride. “I was very fortunate to win”, he said. “The Tanzanian runner had it in the bad before he died of starvation at the 600 metre mark”. “I feel like a winner just being here. And where I come from, have three meals a day for two weeks pretty much makes you one”.