Bush delighted by ‘second inauguralization’

PRESIDENT Bush has told reporters he is “looking forward to being inaugularalated for the second time” in a lavish ceremony on Capitol Hill.

It’s a chance for me to humbly thank the citizens of this great country whose wise judgement returned me to this high office,” he said. “Principally, Karl Rove and his staff”.

The White House has been criticised for spending $40 million on the inauguration so soon after the tsunami disaster. But sources in the administration said that the money, which was raised from corporate sponsor, represented extremely good value. “Buying the President’s support usually costs much more tan that,” he said. The re-elected President will make a speech to lay out his vision for the next four years. “They offered me an hour, but I told them I only had enough vague generalizations for five or six minutes,” said a relaxed Bush.

The President said that his speech would focus on the major issues facing the world in 2004, such as whether two men should be allowed to be able to commit themselves to a loving, monogamous relationship.

Bush has also committed himself to seeking democracy right across the globe, with the exceptions of Florida and Ohio.

Expanding on this theme, President Bush threatened those few absolutist leaders who aren’t allies in the War on Terror with a promise to “end tyranny around the world” in his second term, and try to ensure that no country were subjected to the whims of a government they could not control. “Although that doesn’t mean we’ll be pulling out of Iraq in the next four years,” he clarified.